My Supports

Individuality in America has become this coveted societal standard to which everyone hold’s themselves. We are obsessed with our own specialness and I can see the ways this change in our culture is causing rifts amongst people. The truth is that every one of us, every day, relies on others to help us be successful. We may value our individuality, but we are nothing without our community.

Focusing on the inherent blessings that come from being a part of a community allows us to be more compassionate towards others as well as stronger people. My support system is vast and for that I am grateful. My number one pillar of support is my husband. We are a team. I have a very successful, and very busy career. While I work late nights running teacher trainings, attending neighborhood meetings, or testifying at the state Capitol on ECE issues, he is here at home feeding our daughter, paying the bills, and fixing what is broken. He is my soft place to fall at the end of the day. I can tell him anything and he is always behind me 100%. I cannot imagine how I could have the career I have without the support of this good man.

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My extended family, including my in-laws, are also critical components of my support system. My husband’s family is always there to help us out with child care when we need it, plus they are just loving and supportive people who are fun to be around. My extended family also includes our many wonderful friends. We are surrounded by good people who are there for us when we need them. I work in a school that has a great deal of support available to employees. We are a big family and we take care of each other. My life abounds with support from all sides!

When I think about the support in my life and the people I have that really help me get it done, I can’t help but think how much I rely on my husband and his family. If I were a single parent my life would be much different. I truly do tap the village to raise my child. I have a full-time job, my master’s degree coursework, and I sit on the board for two different non-profit associations. My ability to juggle all of the balls that I keep in the air has become dependent upon the supports of my husband, his parents, and his sister.

I know that being a successful single parent is absolutely possible. Some of the best parents I know are doing it on their own, without the support of a partner. I have just become so reliant on my current support system that it is hard to imagine my life any other way. I imagine that, without my husband and his family, I would need to begin relying on my amazing network of friends to help me feel emotionally supported as well as help me ensure that my daughter has all of her needs met. I would rely on my family too, but they aren’t very close to me.

As I ponder the thought of negotiating my life without my current support system in place, I realize that most social programs would be out of reach for me. I make enough money that I would not qualify for any type of governmental support. However, I don’t make enough money that I could support the lifestyle we currently have. I would not be able to pay for and care for our home nor would I be able to pay my daughter’s private school tuition. Our lives would be entirely different.

In America, we are currently all paying attention to what is happening with our government. We are hotly debating the issues of our day. Should every healthy citizen have to pay into a national network of healthcare so that our sickest citizens can get the care they need? Do we hold tight to our ideals or do we compromise? Individualism has its place, because we do all have unique life circumstances. However, we must remember that we are a community and we cannot be successful unless we are all supporting one another. No man is an island unto himself.

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~ by vegucationmama on October 9, 2013.

2 Responses to “My Supports”

  1. Family support, both immediate and extended, is so important. I used to be the person who did everything for everyone and never asked for anything in return. That’s not how we’re supposed to be, though. I am working on asking for help when I need it and that simple act has created deeper bonds with friends and family. We need to allow others to support us as we support them in turn. Definitely a community approach to life.

  2. Rebecca I am a single (Divorced) parent and have raised two sons and now raising my now 15 year old daughter. I have also took on the temporary task of helping to raise my gtandchildren 2 & 6. Our work is never done. I am blessed to be living in a wonderful place. I enjoy family because they are our biggest supporters.

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